Driving Home...aka tea and cake or death

So....
I hate driving when other people are out and about too. I hate driving as far as my local grocery store (less than a 1/4 mile). I hate driving to work. I ESPECIALLY hate driving on the interstate hwy...ESPECIALLY when its raining. Did I mention I hate it?

There are several reasons tonight that I am renewing my sense of indignation against the "other" drivers out there. First let me say that I realize we all have to figure out a way to get from point a to point b. BUT not all of us should be responsible for doing said act for ourselves a metal chariot.

Unfortunately, I think most of the people who should NOT be driving actually go to my grocery store. And quite possibly drive a semi for a living when they aren't bugging me in the parking lot. more of that in a future blog.

I believe the problem all starts with a test, when a one time only cart blanch test is given to teenagers at the age of 16. kids who can barely remember to shower or brush their teeth, or where the milk is kept. We all crammed for that test and passed....eventually. And then some how, all knowledge gained in the cramming session immediately left some people's minds. And yet, we as a society have given them permission to hurl 1000 lbs of metal down the road at 60 miles per hour... wee....

Example...last fall Hurricane what's his name left most of the greater Cincinnati area in the dark ages, literally. All electrical power was gone as were the traffic light signals. When something of this nature happens you then are SUPPOSED to go to a 4 way stop protocol. Whoever gets there first, goes first. If you all show up at the same time, it goes to the person on the right. Go around the circle and figure out who that is. Sounds easy enough. However it got bad enough that the newscasters had to remind us all on a regular basis, about the protocol. Which, come to think of it, didn't exactly help much considering we were all out of power, power that controls the on and off of our beloved TVs.

Now....grant it, it was a time of rough circumstances that saw generous people in action. Just don't put them behind the wheel, mmkay?

The reason for this current rant tonight? Spending over an hour in and about the Greater Cincinnati area.

The following is a list of complaints, observances, and irritants, idiocy, etc. and a few references to Godzilla. And tea and/or cake.

1. At approximately 2:45 pm I began my journey home. I was soon stopped in traffic. Yes, ladies and gents, traffic on the back roads of NorKY. Why? Because some road repairs apparently HAD to be done at the exact same time a building of over 1600 students/teachers/staff wanted to go home. A simple 3 way stop had 20+ cars backed up in all directions.

My car tends to overheat easily. There is a belt somewhere not working. I can get by with out it working until I'm stuck not moving and then my car acts like it would prefer blowing up. So...there I sat.

2. The next issue is the encounter with the fools at the stop light. Please, when you are approaching a stop light, PLEASE for the love of tea and cake, don't pass up the white line or stop a whole car length behind the white line. There are sensors. These sensors tell the lights that you are there and might want to go forward sometime in the next decade.

3. Again, we run into the 3 way stop at a different location. Daggone it I was there first!!!!! Please do not show me your middle finger or honk your horn, or yell at me through the window when you are the one not obeying the traffic LAWS!

4. This one is for the many thousands of cities, intersections that call themselves cities in Cinci or anywhere that has a road NAME. Please make sure that the signs that actually let your drivers/visitors know where the crap they are, are readable from a short distance before off road driving becomes necessary to correct your direction. Road signs do no one any good if you can't read them!!!!! Obviously I was headed to a new place and needed to know what street I was on....before I passed it up. Which I did, several times. The road signs were lovely though. They all seemed to fit the theme of their little village and usually had very fancy letters or a fantastic tree branch in front of them. Lovely really. Tea and cake.....but not the good kind.

5. Rules of the road say, if you're gonna pass someone, pass them on the LEFT!!!! Now this means that if there is another car actually in your way on the left as well, you have to wait your turn. Really, wait, put on your brakes and think of tea or cake. Please don't use the right hand lane to get around the person in front of you. You might get crunched. Its highly likely the driver you are attempting to zoom around, is trying to get into the right hand lane to exit the highway. Not just sitting in the middle lane having tea and cake.

6. When entering an expressway, please observe the signs and directions for merging. Big word kids, i know but say it with me MERGE. Don't cut off the person in front of you who is attempting to do the same dang thing you are. Wait, and then merge, and then pass if you must. Merging and cutting off the person in front of you is not good for your car's exterior. I might just decide to merge with your door.

7. If you are one of the many truck drivers in this world, please know that I have a great deal of respect for you. Your job is not something I would want to do myself. My father, being a delivery driver for years, taught me to have a healthy respect for all vehicles larger than mine. I give most truck drivers every chance I can to give them an advantage.....flick my lights so they know its ok to get over, keep a sizable distance from them so they can see me in their rear view mirrors, etc. In general, I drive a tiny little matchbox sized car and they are driving godzilla trucks which might in deed be carrying a godzilla sized cargo. They can't stop "on a dime" as my father says. They can't make any sudden movements. They can however, step on brakes and slow down their metal death traps of doom. Which leads me to number 8.

8. No matter how fast you want to drive...if someone in front of you is going slower than your desired speed....driving so close that you couldn't fit a slice of cake or a cup of tea in between you and the car in front of you WILL NOT MAKE THAT CAR GO ANY FASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a tiny little 4 cylinder P.O.S. It is completely impossible for my car to go any faster. I'm doing the best I can. Driving your godzilla truck close enough to see how high my blood pressure is getting, is not helpful. There is a pedal that makes you slow down. Use it. You could squish me, my penny racer car, and anyone near us for that matter. Really, metal godzilla death trap drivers, I wish you would realize that it is my life in your hands, truly. Push the brake pedal, I can't get over when you've all surrounded me. I put my brake on when you want to get on the highway. Please. I prefer tea and cake, not death.

Thank you for coming to Melmart's driving school. Please come again. I'm sure I'll have more tips soon. I've got to go to the grocery store soon. blurg.

Germs. Icky, scary, unpredictalbe monsters.

Hey! Have you heard? There is a disease out there that could wipe out entire populations!
Just kidding. However, if we were to listen to the hype regarding the H1N1 virus, we are on the verge of a epidemic of epic proportions.
Great, yet another reason my fear of communicable diseases can run a muck.
As a leukemia survivor I can attest to the fact that germs were in deed a life threatening reality. During chemo my immune system was wiped out completely. Considering leukemia is a cancer of the white blood cells (germ killers) this was a necessary treatment. So, for two weeks after each treatment I lived in a virtual bubble. We even sent the cat to stay with relatives during all of this. Given my obsession with cats and that this cat was my childhood pet, I hated that.
But back to the topic.....somehow, during that time, being careful about picking up germs flipped the switch on my germ phobia. Now, I realize I have a mild version of it. I can ignore it most of the time. Put me next to someone who is sniffing, coughing, sneezing and I want to run in horror, screaming. Any mention of bodily fluids related to said actions and I want to hurl. I get a bit woozy actually.
Enter the "swine flu" hype. Since I am a teacher in a rather large public school, there is bound to be a sick child or two or 20 who think they might have this particular bug. We hadn't really had any suspicious reports though. Our administration is doing a wonderful job of providing antibacterial wipes, hand sanitizer, etc. I was SO excited the first day I went to the cafeteria and found the hand sanitizer automatic dispenser. FANTASTIC idea. I even was extremely happy to take the wipes installed in the computer lab and wipe down the computers.
However....when I came back to the choir room, there was an e-mail urging us to help keep the hype to a minimum. I try, really I do. In many situations I attempt to be the voice of reason. But today that crazy voice inside my head was yelling "SHE'S LYING!!!! SHE DOESN'T REALLY BELIEVE WHAT SHE'S SAYING!!!"
And then the school nurse came to my room to tell me to be extremely cautious about sharing pencils, pens, tissues, etc. with my students. uh oh. Does that mean there is a student of mine who has it or is being tested for it??? I asked, didn't get a clear answer. Its possible that this lovely lady was just attempting to take care of me considering my health history. She has been known to drag me to her office to get the flu shot. But after our conversation I was afraid to touch the door and the piano and the computer and the phone and.....you get the idea. I guess I'll be investing in gallons of hand sanitizer.
Oh, wait, there was just a teaser for tonight's news broadcast "Which hand sanitizers DON'T work against the swine flu, tonight at 11."
Thanks. a lot. really.