epiphany in Church

Yesterday in church I had an epiphany. So as to alleviate any confusion about the actual celebration of Epiphany I looked up the definition.

epiphany is defined by dictionary.com as "a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience."

So, my commonplace occurrence or simple experience? Listening to a nice sermon by Pastor Chris. There was one simple statement that he made and WHAMO. I'm in a full blown existential, life changing, thought tangent.

The statement was really more of a question. The basic idea was about the difference between needing to be taught a new concept or needing to simply be reminded of lessons already learned.

Now, in the context of the sermon, this was a deep question regarding faith lessons. However, my mind went to my job. I am a teacher. A choir director actually. Do I actually teach anything significant? Or am I constantly reminding students of things they are perfectly capable of grasping on their own. Especially since most of what I remind them constantly about are concepts I know they've been hearing since grade school.

For example......when to stop singing a specific note. Its easy enough? Whole notes= 4 beats. If the word you are singing has a "t" at the end of it, put the "t" on at the end of 4 beats. Easy? You'd be amazed at how many times I say something along the lines of "4 counts!!! 4 counts!!! Didn't I tell you every day for the past 3 months that that note lasts for 4 counts???" Now grant it, I've only gone off on this rant because I didn't hear said "t" and I'm tired of saying the same things over and over. But in my head I've convinced myself that either I stink as a teacher or they are lazy or morons. Or whatever. None of which are true.

Reality says, though, that these kids are intelligent, talented students. And I have somehow watered down my expectations for them. In turn they subconsciously know they don't have to think for themselves since I'll be screaming what to do later.

I challenged them today to not let this pattern continue. They seemed eager to comply. Now that I think about it, I should also apologize to them for treating them like that. Not that I'm cruel about it. I should also ask them to hold me accountable for treating them better. Because really....who wants to have such low expectations for life?

I really want to teach them new and exciting things about music. Not remind them constantly of things they definitely know. There is so much more to be enjoyed about the music we learn, I need to open their eyes and ears to those possibilities. Not hammer them over the head with elementary nuggets of knowledge that they've already acquired.

So...what percentage of our lives is spent needing to be reminded of lessons already learned and what percentage is spent learning new things?

Depressing isn't it? Or is it inspiring? Have I been inspired or kicked in the pants? Who knows...either way, I've got to look at life with this new perspective or I'll be kicking myself in the pants for slipping into old habits.

Happy Monday.